Selected from the letters and homilies
of Elder Ephraim
Chapter One
On Salvation and Paradise
Now in the springtime, when nature is wearing its most beautiful apparel, one feels inexpressible joy when this natural beauty is accompanied by a sublime spiritual state. Truly, our holy God has made all things in wisdom! [(cf. Ps. 103:26 (All quotes from the Old Testament are from the Septuagint )]. The soul cannot get enough of beholding the beauty of nature. Oh, if man would only lift his mind above this earthly realm to the heavenly Jerusalem, to the inconceivable beauty of paradise where the finite, earthly mind ceases to operate! If here in exile, in this accursed land of weeping, our holy God has given us so much beauty to enjoy, I wonder how much there will be in the place where God Himself dwells! Truly, “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the coming glory and bliss.” (cf. Rom. 8:18 ). Theosis in the heavens, my child! There the Lord our God will remove every tear from our eyes, and do away with all sorrow and pain and sighing, for there the angelic way of life reins, and the only work is to chant hymns and spiritual odes! An eternal Sabbath is prepared for us where we shall live in joy with our Father, God, Who is waiting for us to be ready so that He may call us to Him forever! There every saved soul will live in an ocean of love, sweetness, joy, amazement, and wonder!
2. A time will come, the hour will strike, the moment will arrive for these eyes to close and for the soul’s eyes to open. Then we shall see a new world, new beings, a new creation, a new life without end. Its title is: “Infinite Immortality,” the great homeland, incorruptible and everlasting—the heavenly Jerusalem, the mother of the firstborn, where redeemed souls, which have been washed of their impurity by the blood of the innocent Lamb, will dwell!
Who is able to express in words or with a pen the joy, the exaltation, the bliss of those blessed saved souls? Blessed are they who have died in the Lord, for the riches of God’s goodness awaits them. Blessed is he who wins the “lottery” for the heavenly festival, for riches that cannot be taken away, for the glory that God Himself has described: “sons of the Most High, children of God, heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ.” Before the Passion, the Lord entreated His heavenly Father on behalf of His disciples and those who would believe through them: “Father, I desire that they also whom Thou hast given Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which Thou hast given Me; for Thou didst love Me before the foundation of the world.” (Jn. 17:24 ).
How great is Jesus’ love for us! He took on human nature and was hanged upon the Cross, giving us freedom and paying off our debt to His heavenly Father. And as a dear brother, He makes us worthy of jointly inheriting the infinite wealth of His heavenly Father! Oh, what love for us! Oh, how cold we are to Him! Oh, how ungrateful I am towards my Benefactor! My God, my God, have pity on me, and do not condemn me as I deserve because of my deeds!
3. Just as God has spiritually united us with an unbreakable bond, likewise may He count us worthy to be together in His heavenly kingdom, so that we may dine at the spiritual table and delight in His divine fare, united with the heavenly Father, in Whom the everlasting rivers of His divine waters flow. Oh, what a great calling! Oh, how rich are the fruits of transitory afflictions! The children of God will be adorned with heavenly garments; the divine features in their faces will appear radiant; they will enter into the paternal legacy—the eternal repose! They will go about those heavenly dwellings, and beholding those boundless riches, they will remain in ecstasy* without realizing that eons are passing! Oh, what a great calling for man! But two distressing thoughts blemish this good meditation***. The first one is that I shall not participate in all of this glorious blessedness—this is just a meditation now, but later it will take on flesh and bones, in other words, it will materialize. The second one is that people live their lives in ignorance of this great calling, and consequently this ignorance gives rise to separation from God, and spiritual death.
O my God, Lord of Sabaoth, enlighten the darkness of our hearts that we may see Thee, the true light, the blessed light that enlightens and gladdens the hearts of Thy friends. Enlighten us that we may follow Thee until the eternal rest.
*Ecstasy.
One experiences ecstasy when, with the synergy of grace, detaches his nous from reason and the surrounding environment and brings it back to the heart. Then, "through the heart the nous ascends to God", according to St. Gregory Palamas. During ecstasy, the nous** is found in a different, spiritual realm. It is not a respite of the actions of the soul and nous, but a respite of physical actions, such as eating, sleeping, etc.
**Nous.
The English word that best conveys the meaning of the Greek word "νους" is the word "mind". The Fathers use this term with several other meanings, too.
***Meditation.
The term "meditation", as used by the Holy Fathers, indicates a thoughtful reflection or pondering upon a certain aspect of the faith, e.g., the Incarnation. God's mercy, the Crucifixion, the Transfiguration, one's sinfulness, etc. This is quite different from what is known as "Eastern meditation", which is the use of various psychosomatic techniques intended to bring about self-identification with a "supreme being" (or so-called "deity"), an "impersonal reality", or even nothingness. On the other hand, for an Orthodox Christian, meditation brings about humility, gratitude, and love, and is a preparation for prayer, which is a personal experience of the one, true, living God.
O my God, Lord of Sabaoth, enlighten the darkness of our hearts that we may see Thee, the true light, the blessed light that enlightens and gladdens the hearts of Thy friends. Enlighten us that we may follow Thee until the eternal rest.
*Ecstasy.
One experiences ecstasy when, with the synergy of grace, detaches his nous from reason and the surrounding environment and brings it back to the heart. Then, "through the heart the nous ascends to God", according to St. Gregory Palamas. During ecstasy, the nous** is found in a different, spiritual realm. It is not a respite of the actions of the soul and nous, but a respite of physical actions, such as eating, sleeping, etc.
**Nous.
The English word that best conveys the meaning of the Greek word "νους" is the word "mind". The Fathers use this term with several other meanings, too.
***Meditation.
The term "meditation", as used by the Holy Fathers, indicates a thoughtful reflection or pondering upon a certain aspect of the faith, e.g., the Incarnation. God's mercy, the Crucifixion, the Transfiguration, one's sinfulness, etc. This is quite different from what is known as "Eastern meditation", which is the use of various psychosomatic techniques intended to bring about self-identification with a "supreme being" (or so-called "deity"), an "impersonal reality", or even nothingness. On the other hand, for an Orthodox Christian, meditation brings about humility, gratitude, and love, and is a preparation for prayer, which is a personal experience of the one, true, living God.
4. Everything will pass and will end as if had never existed, whereas works done in God will remain with the soul that worked them so that the worker may reap eternal life from them. Blessed are the spiritual philosophers of God, who give away transient things and store up eternal things, so that when they depart, they will find their treasures in God’s treasury with accrued interest. Blessed are they who clean their hearts from the weeds of sin and cultivate the good seed, for the time will come for them to reap sheaves of eternal life! Blessed are they who sow tears with spiritual fasting, that is, always hungering and thirsting for good works, for they will reap eternal joy!
5. All the labor, toil, and temptations in this life, my blessed child, cannot be compared with that blessed life. Even if we had thousands of lives and sacrificed them all, we would not have done anything significant in comparison with the future glory in which Christ the Master longs to establish us through His precious and life-giving Blood! This is why the Apostle Paul says, “The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Rom. 8:18 ). Furthermore, reflect that man “withers like a flower and passes like a dream,” (cf. Is. 40:6-8 ), and that “when the trumpet sounds, all the dead will rise as if in an earthquake” (cf. 2 Thes. 4:16 ) to meet Christ. When the door of the age to come opens, and when the present world is destroyed, then our nature will be restored to its original state. The Lord “will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body.” (Phil. 3:21 ). Our nature, which groans and travails together with all of creation, (cf. Rom. 8:22 ), awaits the glorious revealing of the children of God with an intence yearning. “For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God.” (Rom. 8:19 ). The grandeur of man, whom God raises to such heights and glory, is unrivaled! Yet we passionate sinners are unaware of and indifferent to these great riches, and our way of thinking is completely earthly. Just think: this body which is fetid dirt is counted worthy to be conformed to God’s glory, to become angelic! (cf. Phil. 3:21 ). Now, men are material in comparison to the angels, which are purely spiritual beings. Angels in comparison to God are somewhat “material”. They are not purely spiritual as God is, Who is unapproachable light. In this manner men will also become angelic then. Then, a single unity of the fullness of the Church, of the faithful with Christ will occur. How tenderly and paternally our Lord puts it: “Father,” He said to His Father, “I desire that they also whom Thou hast given Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which Thou hast given Me” (Jn. 17:24 ). Can worldly riches compare with these words of God? If only we were there where our Lord is—where angels shudder and tremble to approach! O hidden wisdom and infinite wealth of God!
6. Do not forget your goal, my child. Look into heaven and see the beauty that awaits us. What are the present, earthly things? Aren’t they but ashes and dust and a dream? Don’t we see that everything here is subject to decay? Whereas things above are everlasting, the kingdom of God is endless, and blessed is he who will dwell in it, for he will behold the glory of His divine face! My child, do not forget that we are in this world only temporarily and that our life dangles by a thread and that all the desirable things in the world are vain. So, whoever despises the vain things of the world—in other words, does not passionately desire them—will participate in the eternal good things. So, when we have this knowledge of the truth, naturally we shall turn the eyes of our soul at every moment towards the eternal life, towards the heavenly Jerusalem, where the choirs of angels chant godly canticles of ineffable sweetness and wisdom. Oh, my children, how much glory your souls will have when after death they ascend to the heavens and are numbered with the angels in heaven!
7. Let us glorify the risen Lord, Who counted us worthy to celebrate His holy Resurrection. Let us pray that He will also count us worthy to celebrate the eternal Sabbath in the heavens, in the new Jerusalem, in the eternal joy. “And no one will take this joy away from you (cf. Jn. 16:22 ). Indeed, my child, for earthly joy is followed by sorrows which can annihilate it, whereas heavenly joy is not, because it flows continuously as if from an inexhaustible and life-giving spring.
Let us compel ourselves in our Christian duties in order to be able to celebrate the eternal Pascha, close to our Christ and see Him face to face for our blessed enjoyment, without it being interrupted anymore by trials and despair.
8. I sent you a letter in which I wrote a few things about the paradise; I hope this pleased you. Ah, if you could only see a little bit of paradise, if you could only hear for a few seconds the chanting of the sweet angels who shine with heavenly light and emit paradisiacal fragrance! Oh, what beauty! Unfortunately, we are in the dark about all these things. There everything shines with limitless bliss. And what does the throne of Christ tell you? Christ the Master sits upon a throne, and due to His light no one can discern His sacred and most sweet face. Oh, what sweetness and beauty! What is more beautiful than this? This is truly paradise: to behold the face of our Jesus! Glory to Thy Cross, O Lord, and to Thy Resurrection! O depth of the wisdom of God! O mysteries of the threesun Deity! Blessed is he who humbles himself like a child, obeying all commands with a guileless soul for the love of God! And woe to him who will hold on to his egotism, like me; how many divine gifts does he deprive himself of! My children, run with humility to reach the Lord Who humbled Himself for our sake—our sweetest, beloved Christ, the light of our poor souls. See what beauty awaits us! If you could only see how beautiful it is! You would disregard everything; you would even become like trash to be stepped on, just as long as you would not be deprived of everything that the sweet love of Jesus has prepared! These are the kinds of things my Elder used to tell me, and I am conveying them to you so that you may be sweetened. I am done—forgive me!
9. I, however, am not fit for paradise, because my works notify me in advance that I am only fit for hell.
The Apostle Paul speaks to us about paradise very beautifully. He was caught up to the third heaven (vid. 1 Cor. 12:2 ) and to the beauty of the kingdom of heaven and cried out in ecstasy, “How lovely and exquisitely beautiful the kingdom of God is, which cannot be compared with any earthly beauty!” Paradise is so beautiful that the eye of man has never been able to see such beauty. Likewise, a human ear has never heard sweeter chanting, since in heaven angelic choirs chant incomparably sweeter than the most sweet-voiced nightingales!
The Apostle Paul goes on to say that man has never conceived what God has prepared in heaven, in paradise, for His children. Indeed, it is the truth that if we knew the spiritual pleasures of paradise, we would be patient in every situation in order to gain it. Whereas now, because of our ignorance, we do the opposite and thus go far away from it!
Oh, if we only knew what paradise is! The human mind is unable to conceive the magnitude of its beauty! There the choirs of angels and holy souls chant incessantly-an eternal Pascha! There, souls converse with exultation. They talk about how they passed this vain life and how much God helped them to escape hell and to repose in this blissfull place of God! They offer endless thanks to God for this tremendous mercy of His, that He gave them paradise!
What is paradise? It is a place full of unfading flowers, replete with divine aromas, the delight of angels, Paschal life, divine eros, ceaseless doxology of God, and an eternal life! So then, it is worth struggling for- but how insignificant our struggle is in light of this “fantastic,” so to speak, paradise!
Oh, paradise, how beautiful you are! Your beauty allures me and changes me into a different person. Why shouldn’t I endeavor and struggle properly to obtain you?
My God, our Lord, deliver us from accursed pride, so that guided by holy humility we may become inhabitants of sweetest paradise. Amen; so be it.
Chapter Two
On Afflictions, Pain, and Labors
1 ). May the love of our heavenly Father be with your souls, so that being invigorated by it you may bear the fruit of obedience to His life-giving commandments.
“Those who desire to live piously in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution” (2 Tim. 3:12 ). Since you follow the Savior Christ through your devotion to the angelic way of life, your greatest duty is to bear all suffering, whether it comes from nature, indolence, sins, or people. Since we desire to live a Christ-like life, we are obligated to submit to God’s will because all things come from God. And since they are from God-and thus are the divine will-the heavenly Father commands them. Shall we not obey? Shall we not cry out with the blessed Job, “As it seemed good to the Lord, so it has come to pass. Blessed be the name of the Lord”? (Job 1:21 ).
Through patience and thanksgiving to God, then, we show obedience to the divine will. Won’t the obedient one be counted worthy to acquire even here eternal life in himself? Yes, he will live unto the ages of ages! Therefore, let us struggle; let us make our souls keen by working them over the whetstone of patience, in order to carry out a work pleasing to God. Afflictions, illnesses, distresses, trials-none of these will separate us from the love of Christ. For we have already been taught that narrow and difficult is the way which leads those who walk along it into the life without sorrow. (vid. Mt. 7:14 ). Thorns and thistles are placed to the right and left along the way; therefore, we need much caution. Along the difficult way-that is, in the trial of sickness and so forth-the thorn of doubt, of impatience, of cowardice comes to rend the garment of the soul. What is needed, therefore, is to pull out this thorn through faith, hope, and patience, having Jesus Christ as a model. Throughout His life on earth He had many afflictions, and His all-holy soul was oppressed by many thorns, and so He exclaimed, “In your patience you will gain your souls.” (Lk. 21:19 ).
Through illnesses and through grievous things in general, God bestows gifts upon us as a Father; for He seeks ways to impart His holiness: “What son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are without discipline, you are illegitimate children and not sons” (Heb. 12:7-8 ). Oh! Whenever we suffer, then it becomes manifest that we are children of God. And who would not like to be a child of God? Therefore, if you want to be a child of God, endure the afflictions and trials sent by God with thanksgiving, faith, and hope. Even trials coming from people are really sent from God so that we may acquire tolerance, forbearance, compassion, and patience, for all these are divine characteristics, as the Lord says to us: “He makes His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust.” (Mt.5:45 ). For this reason we are obliged to love all people. May no trace of hatred or evil be found in our souls, so that we may be called children of God. The sufferings of our whole life are not worthy to be compared with the inconceivable good things that God has prepared for those souls which carry their cross, whether it comes from the devil, other people, or one’s own nature. Because whatever passion or weakness may fight us, when we fight back against it, it causes us to be counted worthy of the blessing: “Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life.” (Jas. 1:12 ). For this reason, my child, endure everything, for a crown is being woven invisibly for the head of each one of us. Winter is bitter, but paradise is sweet. Endure the frost of trials, that your feet may joyfully dance in heaven.
2 ). Many things afflict us, my child, but blessed is he who passes through the grievous things of this present life with patience and thanksgiving. Yes, we ought to thank God, Who through such grievous things prepares our immortal soul to inherit the eternal blessings of the kingdom of heaven!”The Lord disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness”. (cf. Heb. 12:10 ). Through various afflictions He works in us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all! (cf. 2 Cor. 4:17 ).
For this reason it is neither necessary nor beneficial to be indignant when the Lord disciplines us. Rather, it is beneficial for everyone’s soul to have perfect obedience to the Physician of our souls and bodies, Who during various afflictions operates on the invisible wounds of the soul of each one of us, with the holy aim of giving us health- that is, the purification of the heart from vile passions. To such an omniscient spiritual Physician, we have the indispensable obligation to offer unceasing thanks by our actions, so that we do not grieve Him by any offence. All the saints passed their lives in afflictions and manifold sufferings, in spite of the fact that sin did not have any power over them to afflict them. Nevertheless, many times their life was a true martyrdom. Now, what justification will we give- we who have fallen into and occupy ourselves with many sins- to claim the right to pass our lives without afflictions and sufferings? Most certainly we are accountable for sin, and consequently we need the whip of the salvific discipline of the Lord, that we may have the fortune of being saved into the kingdom of heaven, by grace of the mercies of our God Who loves mankind.
3. Why are you sorrowful and glum while walking along the way of God? Those who have forgotten God, who have no hope in the living and eternal fountain of God, should grieve. But we, who believe in the living God and whose hopes depend upon Him, ought to rejoice that we have such a Father in the heavens, Who loves us more than all fathers and mothers and Who takes infinite care to render us worthy of Him. But, you say, we fall every moment! Yes, I do not deny it—but we know that our nature is from clay and that it desires the earth and seeks what is base, for “the mind of man is inclined to evil from his youth.” (cf. Gen. 8:21 ). And we see within us a law which seeks to capture our free will, to subjugate it and render it a slave of sin. (cf. Rom. 7:23 ). In all this, however, our good intention triumphs. God has given us spiritual weapons to fight against every satanic attack: the glorious banner of the cross of hope—living hope in Him Who said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (cf. Heb. 13:5 )—hope in our Christ, who was hanged on the Cross, and all who look upon Him and hope in Him will not be put to shame. The all-immaculate Blood which was poured out on the Cross pardoned the sins of mankind and poured forth life. “Blessed is the man who hopes in Him.” (cf. Ps. 33:8 ).
Take courage, my child; this grief of yours will turn into joy. This grief produces great good for you; it surrounds you as with a breastplate of iron, so that the evil darts of attachment to earthly things do not tear your mind away from the concern for heavenly things and for your immortal soul. Grief will succeed joy, and joy, grief, just as night follows day. This is how the Father of lights has established the path of those who are being saved. Just have patience and hope: engrave these in the depths of your heart—with these, all adversities will be faced. Cling to our sweet Jesus; cry out to Him in your afflictions. Entrust to Him the care of grievous things and He will do good to you, as to Hannah, the mother of the Prophet Samuel, who out of extreme grief because of her barrenness, fell down before the Lord and poured out her soul as if beside herself. And her petition did not fail. [vid. 1 Kings (1 Sam. ) 1:1-18 ]. Who ever hoped in God and was put to shame? Of course, this does not mean blameworthy hope but active hope—that is, hope along with spiritual works according to our strength; otherwise, it is not hope but mockery. Save us from such deceitful hope, O God.
4. How much loss a person suffers when he forgets his sonship and does not reflect that he is disciplined as a child of God! Love imposes, on genuine parents, an absolute and indispensable duty to exercise discipline on their children. Therefore, since God is our Father, He disciplines His own children to educate them and make them partakers of His holiness. “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of His reproof.” (Prov. 3:11 ). So the Christians’ forgetfulness of their own Father, God, is a great evil; for when the paternal rod strikes them (sufferings, afflictions, trials, etc. ), they despair; ten thousand thoughts overcome them and their discipline becomes very toilsome, without any consolation. How beautifully the Apostle Paul says to us, “You have forgotten”, he says, “the exhortation which addresses you as sons.” (Heb. 12:5 ). We have forgotten, he says, the consoling counsel which God addresses to us as His children. The discipline of the Lord is inevitable towards His own children, whom He knows. God does not practice favoritism; God, being dispassionate and holy, is not overcome by unhealthy love—which many foolish parents practice on their children and which afterwards causes the destruction and eternal punishment of their loved ones. He does not overlook His beloved children’s misconduct and lack of discipline so that He would not upset them. No, a thousand times no! He is God, possessing genuine love towards His children. He will discipline them; He will admonish them; He will bind their freedom and will rebuke them in various ways in order to transform evil characters into His own holy characters, unto glory and praise in Christ Jesus. Even Christ, when He was on earth, the beloved Child of the Father, was tried in the discipline of the Lord; not that He, the sinless God, needed it, but for the salvation of man and for our admonition and example, so that we would follow His footsteps: “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as Thou dost will; Thy will be done.” (Mt. 26:39, 6:10 ). How then will we justify ourselves, when our Christ, without having committed any sin—for He was God—went through such fearful sufferings? Reflect on the stupendous condescension of the infinite God: He became Man and suffered such a shameful Passion for the sake of us, the sinful, guilty and condemned; He was slapped in the face; they scourged Him, reviled Him, crucified Him; He died the most evil death: “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”! (Deut. 21:23, Gal. 3:13 ). He, as God, suffered so much for us sinners; what excuse do we have if we do not endure one trial out of love for Him, or at least for our sins?
5. In all circumstances have the noetic eye of the soul turned upwards, where help will come. Do not despair, whatever may happen. According to the trial, the way out follows. God never allows, or rather, He does not give a person a load beyond his strength. If men have the discernment to do this with animals, how much more does the good God, Who shed His All-holy Blood for man on the Cross! The truth is that Christians who endure temporary afflictions acquire through them future eternal joy and repose. We should never envy those who have constant joy and peace here on earth—rather we should pity them, for temporary joy will become for them an obstacle to the future life. God is merciful but also just—merciful in the present life, but after death a just Judge. It is not possible for Him to give afflicted Christians—that is, true Christians, not just Christians in name—eternal distress as well. But there He will give them constant joy, which no one will be able to take from them. God cannot cast a person from punishment to punishment. Therefore, rejoice instead of grieving, because God counted you worthy to suffer temporarily in order to give you eternal repose. Eternal joy is reserved only for suffering Christians. In the holy Gospel, the Lord says about the rich man and Lazarus: “Abraham said: Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented.” (Lk. 16:25 ).
God never shows favoritism, but He acts according to righteous principles. If you glance through the lives of the saints, you will see continuous trials, afflictions, and distress. This is how they passed their lives. No pleasure-lover will enter into the eternal habitation which is full of ineffable joy, but rather those who were afflicted and endured for God, for the sake of keeping His commandments. The Lord says, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world”. (Jn. 16:33 ). This was said by the God Who came to the earth and labored and suffered throughout His life, and then finally, where did He end up? Hanging on the Cross as accursed, in order to throw down the barrier of the curse. Terrible anguish wrung the heart of the God-man, and He cried out, “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?” The earth shook and the veil of the Temple was torn in the middle, as could be seen perceptibly. But also on the spiritual plane, the impregnable wall of the curse between God and man shook and utterly crumbled. And as Jesus expired, what had formerly been divided was united, and man became, not simply a friend of God, but God’s own kin; man received the grace of adoption into sonship: “heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ.” (Rom. 8:17 ). For mankind gave the All-holy Virgin as a Mother to the Son, and Christ took flesh from Her pure blood. This deified human flesh sat at the right hand of God the Father. Henceforth, God was seen in the heavens and was worshipped also in human nature by the angels. Do you see where the human race has ascended? We shall become gods by grace! (cf. Jn. 10:34 ). But without afflictions, is anyone able to reach there? We shall be distressed, we shall be afflicted, but one day all will come to an end and will be forgotten; suddenly, the eternal Joy will open wide His tender arms and will call out, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden (with afflictions ), and I shall give you rest.” (Mt. 11:28 ). In each of your deeds and actions, whether in word or in thought, remember that God is present and He sees them and one day will judge them. From this saving meditation arises godly fear, which produces the greatest benefit: “I beheld the Lord ever before me, for He is at my right hand, that I might not be shaken,” (Ps. 15:8 ), said the Prophet David. “Thy law is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my paths”. (Ps. 15:8 ). It even produces humility. So humble-mindedness does not arise only from trials and tests but also from spiritual meditation and from realizing our weakness. One reflects on how weak man is, that he is not able to do good, even though it is sown within his nature. Evil, on the contrary, he does very easily, even though it is alien to him. Man wants to please God, but if the grace of God does not work together with him, the good he does is not good; and even if he wants to labor, if God does not help, his desire and labor are in vain. When a person considers his past—when he did not know God, how much he sinned—he feels contrition, humbles himself, weeps, seeks forgiveness, and reflects: “Even now, if the grace of God leaves me, I am capable of doing worse things.” Then a certain fear mingled with humility protects the soul as with a wall. This meditation is called awareness of man’s weakness, and it bears the fruits of humility and benefit, without toil and afflictions. Yes, trials come, but most of them are sent because of our pride. When someone is found in a state of humility, the trials will be fewer and light. But one must be ready, as a captain who expects a storm after the calm. When someone anticipates something, it does not seem strange to him when it comes, because he expected it. Thus one must always be prepared, so that when it comes he will not be distressed. But is it possible, my child, that we not experience distress? For it is from distress, from this affliction, that we shall inherit the eternal, unceasing good things which “eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him”? (1 Cor. 2:29 ).
6. Let us not forget, my child, that all the saints passed through this furnace of afflictions in different forms, each one according to the vocation to which he was called. If we take a look at the famous life and conduct of the Empress Saint Theophano, we shall see afflictions heaped up one after the other, throughout her life full of suffering. She suffered greatly; she endeavored in every way—through admonitions, prayers, tears, and examples—to reform her lawful spouse, the Emperor Leo the Wise, who was straying into sin. Her holy soul bore this cross throughout her life. And these sufferings, along with her good works, made her holy. This is how the life of man is mapped out on this earth; since he has fallen from immortality, he gathers the fruit which disobedience has brought forth. No matter how much he wants to, and no matter how much he strives to live without afflictions and thinks that he will reach this goal, he will not be able to achieve this, because the tempter is going to and fro on the earth and walking around it, (cf. Job 1:7 ), sifting everyone and watering them with the poison of afflictions as a result of the curse of the law. (cf. Gal. 3:10 ). Wherever you look, whomever you ask, all as with one mouth will confess that some thorn pricks them and they suffer. However, there are different kinds of affliction. Some are afflicted because they are not able to revel in illicit deeds; this is blameworthy affliction. Others are afflicted lawfully and for good reason; this is a natural outcome. But when there is also spiritual knowledge, then afflictions are engrafted into the one who endures patiently for his sanctification. This is precisely what happened with Saint Theophano as well; she suffered lawfully, because her spouse was unfaithful to her. But she, with spiritual knowledge, admonition, and a Christian example, enduring, weeping, and praying, placed all her trust in God. Because of all this, holiness was grafted onto what was lawful. For this reason, bear all these thinks; become holy through afflictions. Give thanks to God, Who disciplines you temporally in order to give you repose eternally! When I see or hear that someone lives without afflictions and prospers according to all his desires, I consider this to be abandonment by God! As for us, may God count us with the sufferers, so that He may write our name in the book of life, so that we not remain outside His divine bridal chamber. No matter how much we may suffer, one day all will come to an end and be forgotten; only deeds, whether evil or good, will remain to follow the soul to the tribunal, where it will hear the great verdict. This thought often moves me and I weep: what will I, the unworthy priest, speak in my defense at the judgment seat of Christ? Pray for me that I not be condemned.
7. My beloved brother in Christ, may the grace of our Lady Theotokos preserve you from everything which would soil your dear little soul. Amen. “Tribulations and necessities have found me, Thy commandments are my meditation.” (Ps. 118:143 ). Afflictions succeed one another; we need patience. By meditating on the divine law, we are enlightened as to how to bear them, why they come, and what purpose they have. They come in order to teach us to become bearers of hardship, practiced fighters, followers of Him Who was crucified for us, brothers of all the Saints who walked the thorny road of the Cross: the martyrs by martyrdom, the monastics by ascesis, the faithful by keeping the holy commandments and through the various trials caused by the world, the devil, and the flesh. No one has ever been saved in comfort and without trials. Thus it follows that if we also bear trials, we should rejoice, for thus walked all those who were saved. And since we want to be saved, too, there is no other road but afflictions! Afflictions come in order to bring us closer to God, for afflictions grieve and oppress the heart, softening and humbling it. And when it is humbled, God looks upon it: “A heart that is broken and humbled God will not despise. (Ps. 50:17 ). “Upon whom shall I look, if not upon him who is humble and meek, and trembles at my words? (Is. 66:2 ). He who bears his sorrows with joy and knowledge will be freed from his sins and their penance. A spiritual character is also created in him: the person becomes merciful, humble, meek, etc. The one who does not have true knowledge of trials is distressed and grieved at a time when he should rejoice, for he walks the road of holy Golgotha and of the Saints. May the grace of God, which heals infirmities and makes up for deficiencies, help all of us to be patient in all things, that we be counted worthy of the kingdom of God. Amen.
8. It is very consoling, my child, that each one of us will receive his reward based on how much he has labored for the love of Christ. It involves much labor to bear the burden of souls in the present era which is ruled by egotism and self will. Let us not lose our courage; for invisibly present is Jesus, Who will rebuke the stormy sea of trials and bring the calm of grace. Struggle upon the raging waves; call upon the only all-powerfull God: “Lord, Lord, look down from heaven and behold my trials and perfect my soul to do Thy will, for Thou art my God.” (cf. Ps. 79:15-16 ).
9. Glory to the only wise God, Who knows how to extract the sweet out of the bitter and thus enrich our knowledge out of His boundless love toward us. He scourges us with afflictions and trials, so that He can draw us near Him; for He knows that through the sorrowful things of this present life, man remains near Him and is saved.
The comfortable life is very hazardous for eternal salvation. It is not the Spirit of God that dwells in those living in comfort, but rather the spirit of the devil, according to the saying of the Fathers. For this reason, in this life’s sorrows we need to have patient and thanksgiving, for God is well pleased with both of these virtues. May the Lord give us much patience in our life’s sorrows, so that in everything we may thank the Giver of good things Who provides for us.
10. About the grief that torments you, I have told you many times that it is your cross which our Jesus has given to you so that you may become an imitator of Him and not be a stranger to His love. For whoever loves Him sincerely follows Him not only to Mount Tabor, where the glory of His divinity appeared (in other words, not only at the time of His visitation through His sweet grace and joy ), but follows Him also on the uphill climb to Golgotha and His Crucifixion (in other words, also in the absence of His grace and in sorrowful occurrences, which produce distress, pain, despair, perplexity, labor, and sweat). Precisely then is the inner man tested and it is revealed what he is: counterfeit or true, skilled or unskilled, captain or sailor. Precisely then are our intentions tested, and he who is courageous and patient is rewarded internally by the visitation of God through the increase of grace. In this manner, the Christian is trained in the spiritual struggle until he reaches the end and finds rest. Struggle philosophically; carry your cross with patience and joy until you bring it to the Place of the Skull, to the tomb, so that our Jesus may give you the resurrection! He who bears his cross for the love of Christ will be raised by the Lord on the last day. How long will our life be? The time of our death is unknown, whereas patience will be rewarded eternally. This cross of grief you are bearing has already given you very much, and how much more it will give you! And yet you do not see this, for God wisely hides it from you for your benefit. Entreat God continuously to give you patience, and thank Him with knowledge; then you will be able to endure joyfully, awaiting your salvation through these afflictions.
11. Man’s life is a martyrdom. Ever since we fell from true happiness we gather the fruit of disobedience: “Thorns and thistles will the earth bring forth to you” (Gen. 3:18 ) –the earth of the heart will, too. How will we know that we are exiles, if not through afflictions and torments? There is no person who does not have something that afflicts him. Pious Christians are afflicted, too, but in the depths of their souls they also have the hope that one day the many afflictions will result in blessed repose for them. Without afflictions and sufferings let no one expect repose in the life beyond the grave. That life is for those who have labored and were heavy-laden by the weight of this present life. Of course, the saints had much grace and spiritual strength, and they rejoiced in suffering. But we, and I first of all, suffer and sometimes our patience breaks. But glory be to God, Who enlightens us to repent and correct ourselves. “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mt. 26:41 ).
12. Concerning the sorrow which you have in your soul because of your sins, it is good and beneficial. Only when it leads you to despair, then it is clearly demonic. Immediately turn toward hope and say: “Since I repent for everything, I hope that everything I have done is forgiven. There is no sin which surpasses the compassion of God. However great the sins may be, when they come to repentance they are dissolved. Oh, the depth of the humility, forbearance, and compassion of the Lord!
May all those who are laden with a heavy sentence take courage, for there is a God Who does not consider whatever evil we may have done to Him. He forgives all sins, if only we sincerely repent. Endure the trials, my child, and it will turn out well for you. Patience—yes, patience: this will open the gates of paradise for us.
13. In the tragic ordeal that my Elder went through, how tangibly he felt Christ! While to others the approach of death causes trembling and fear, he remained in the eros of Christ. What a wonder this is! “Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Heb. 13:8 ).
14. Affliction is an instrument, a tool, which God holds in His hand. He alone uses it as His infinite wisdom dictates. He uses it differently for each person, according to the need of each. Affliction in its various forms purifies and sanctifies the one who accepts it with wisdom and knowledge. That is, each affliction a Christian has is a divine visitation for his salvation, sent by the most sweet right hand of our heavenly Father, even though our nature dislikes such things, just as bitter medicines are unpleasant to the sick. Besides, if we had no afflictions, certainly we would have the fate of Lucifer. For he, at the height of glory and repose, forgot the greatness of God and his own puniness and weakness, and said, “I shall set my throne upon the clouds, and I shall be like the Highest.” (cf. Is. 14:13 ). After he thought these things, God cast him down; the former dawning star and most luminous angel became a demon, Satan, the devil, the filthiest of God’s creatures, not by nature—for God made everything very good—but by his own choice to be evil and rebellious. The devil sows within families grumbling, dislike, envy, obstinacy, etc., and thus in many families there is one person who will disturb their peace, serenity, and joy. This evil seed was not absent even from the midst of the sacred family of the Lord, which He had created on earth for the coming salvation—that is, in the midst of His sacred disciples: Judas Iscariot, a God-slaying seed!
The devil sows his seed in the midst of the wheat; even in the synodias of monastics such people exist. Not that the person himself is evil, but with his weaknesses of grumbling, envy, etc., he becomes an instrument of the devil that disturbs the peace and quiet of the others. All these things bear witness to the fact that we are exiles from our true fatherland and are now in the reformatories where the discipline of the Lord is practiced. And all who accept the discipline are led back into the heavenly paternal inheritance and recover their lost sonship, as ones worthy to receive God as their inheritance. But all who remain undisciplined, like me, and do not acknowledge the discipline, but instead through their works are shown to be illegitimate, are driven away and condemned as unworthy of the adoption to which the discipline of the Lord aimed. May our good God and Father count us worthy to be among the successful who have received adoption as sons, unto the ages of ages. Amen.
15. My child, be patient in everything, for the reward is great. Do not look at the weight of afflictions, but consider the payment: your light afflictions reserve eternal glory for you in the heavens that far outweight them all. (cf. 2 Cor. 4:17 ). For this reason you should rejoice instead of grieving. Thank our good God in everything and do not let our enemy see you lose your patience, because then he will attack you even more in order to demolish the wall of patience completely.
16. Concerning your question, whether or not your heartfelt sorrow and mourning are beneficial, I tell you that they are very beneficial, for they hold you back from sin, especially from the attachment and pleasure of the world, which are alien to God. Yes, but even here discernment is necessary, that sorrow and mourning are not done inordinately, for then they become harmful. Behold a sign: when you mourn reflecting on your old sins and the mourning becomes inordinate, it ends up in despair; and then you regard God as a merciless punisher, which is absurd. For He disciplines as a Father, and this is how the Christians understands it when he does not mourn inordinately. This is why discernment is most important, for it delivers us from excesses and deficiencies. When despair overcomes you, think about something else: If God commanded men to forgive the faults of their fellow men seventy times seven each day, how much more will an infinitely compassionate God forgive? Who has ever repented and not been saved? Who has ever said, “I have sinned” and was not forgiven? Who has fallen and sought help and was not raised up? Who has wept and was not comforted by God? “If you then,” says the Lord, “being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him?” (Mt. 7:11 ). Our heavenly Father disciplines us, not to make us despair, but rather to make us repent and correct ourselves. When we misunderstand the meaning of discipline, we end up in despair. Under the sway of such an influence, it is impossible for the soul to be consoled. But when we retain a healthy understanding of the meaning of discipline and afflictions, much divine comfort follows. Behold, my child, under what circumstances mourning and grief are beneficial.
17. In this world, my child, people are divided into good and bad, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, noble and lowborn, smart and not so smart. All, however, have one thing in common: suffering. For without exception all people will suffer in their life. As the maxim says: “It is a wonder if anyone has been happy throughout his life”. So then, all people live in the kingdom of suffering. We know that suffering is something personal, which one must face alone. It is his cross, which he must carry, just as the Savior of the world, Jesus, carried His cross for our sake. So be at ease, my child, in the paternal hand, which at this time performs surgery on you by means of suffering, and be calm. Accept that God sends it to you, reconcile yourself with suffering, so that you will be able to face it. I know how difficult this is, but also how beneficial for your salvation. The saints rejoiced in their afflictions; let us at least accept ours with patience, and God will not forget even this miniscule, voluntary patient acceptance of His will, which is represented by suffering. My child, muster the powers of your soul when you suffer, and try to understand the purpose of suffering, through which God opens heaven for you. Do you think that He Who numbers the hairs of your head does not know the measure of your suffering? Yes, He knows it. Therefore be at rest, trusting in our heavenly Father. Do not grow weary; with our Christ’s help you will pass through everything, and will also become His heir in the boundless fortune of our common Father. Amen.
18. Are you able to enumerate the mercies of God? The sins of the worst person, before the compassion of God, are like a handful of sand in the ocean. There is no sin which overcomes the compassion of God. God may be portrayed as our mother: is it possible for the sin of a child to overcome his mother’s love? If a mother loves her child so much, how infinitely does God love us, Who clearly proved this by being crucified on the Cross? The Apostle Peter denied the Lord three times, yet through repentance he was restored. The great persecutor of Christians, the Apostle Paul, through repentance became the chief of the Apostles. Prostitutes, thieves, tax collectors, and innumerable other guilty people were sanctified by repentance. For this reason, cast away your distress and excessive remorse; be hopeful; take courage, and drive away every thought of despair.
19. No matter how much we may suffer, the time will come when all will end and each one of us will be given repose in accordance with his labors. Are you afflicted? Are you in pain? Do you weep from the pressure of sorrowfull events? Are you weary? Take courage, for through such things the kingdom of God is acquired. But if you have it easy in everything and do not remember God, then grieve, for you are not walking the path that leads to God. Afflictions, sicknesses, and torments weary us continually so that we abhor this world and desire the world there, where Cherubim and Seraphim hymn God, where there is the real and true repose, the day without evening, the blessed light; while things here, in comparison with the eternal things, are dark and abominable. May our holy God grant us spiritual understanding, so that we always prefer the everlasting things, the highest good, our sweet God.
20. Οh, how beneficently our God and Father intervenes by means of pain in the life of man, His child! If man knew the spiritual benefit that pain brings, he would pray to bear all kinds of pain throughout his life in order to deposit spiritual “money”, the money of pain, in the bank of God, in the city above, and to receive the money of blessedness at the time when all souls will receive the wages for labors, pain, and afflictions.
21. Have patience, my child, in the trial which the goodness of God is sending you for the greater benefit of your soul. You should rejoice, because this shows God’s concern for your greater spiritual progress, primarily in humility. Many times, man’s pride becomes a cause for God to give us a fatherly “slap” so that we walk more securely in humility. This is the best sign of how greatly God is concerned for our souls. So be patient, my child. This is also a cross; take it up for the love of the Lord. Resemble Him, so that He may give you His love; for He says, “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me”. (Jn. 14:21 ). One of His commandments is obedience until Golgotha, with the cross on our shoulder. Blessed is he who endures trials, for as one tried he will receive the crown of eternal life. (cf. Jas 1:12 ).
22. We are disciplined that we may become worthy of the heavens. The heavenly Father disciplines us in every way in order to form a spiritual character within us, so that we may resemble our heavenly Father as His children. We must nurture in ourselves characteristics with clearly reflect that we are legitimate sons of God. Let us be distinguished in patience, in meekness, in love, in brotherly affection, and so forth—characteristics of God’s children, who are about to inherit, along with Christ, the boundless spiritual riches of the heavenly Father. Be courageous, my child, in the struggle; through many tribulations we shall ascend to heaven. The path of our salvation is strewn with thorns, and we shall have pain and shed blood; but be patient. The blessed hour will come when all the pain and blood will inscribe our names in the book of life! Then we shall bless God, Who with unfathomable wisdom devised pain and affliction as a means of great salvation. Do not grow tired of crying out to Christ, if you want your mouth to be sanctified. As for the temptations which you see in your sleep, do not think about them, but disregard them, for they themselves do not have any substance. When you disregard them, they will not bother you.
23. My blessed child, may joy and peace be upon your dear little soul. Trials are always beneficial when we bear them patiently. When the trials have passed, they leave behind experience for the one tried by them, and fruit in proportion to the patience and skill which he showed in the struggle. Since there is no road which saves other than trials, what should we do? Have patience to the point of shedding blood. This is also how our fathers struggled, and they became holy. Trials befit us also in order that we be humbled—even though we are humble by nature—that is, we are made of earth and even our works are like rubbish and chaff. Do not forget, my child, what the sweet-scented mouth of Jesus said: “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (Jn. 16:33 ). Therefore, whoever has Christ with him will also overcome the world of his passions. Do not let the magnitude of the trials terrify you, but be attentive lest the enemy craftily robs you with thoughts without your realizing it, lest you continue yielding to the point that evil thoughts coerce you. Anyway, the truth is one: most holy humility is the most salvific medicine. Be humble in everything, and without the least doubt you will by all means obtain perfect—or at least satisfactory—freedom from the passions.
24. I pray, my child, that you have peace in both soul and body, for what is more beautiful than peace of soul and health of body! Both make man’s life pleasant; in their absence, however, a harsh tempest rises and the little boat of one’s soul is tossed about in the midst of raging waves. How many prayers are offered then! But the Lord, when He was on earth, met a similar storm: “and He rebuked the wind and the sea and there was a great calm.” (cf. Mk. 4:39 ). Let us call on this peacemaking Lord and Master whenever spiritual storms overcome us, my child, and I believe that when we call on Him with faith, He will hasten to our aid and say, “Behold, I am here”.
25. Blessed daughter…, the Lord be with you. I received your little letter; do not grieve so much, my child. Moderation is necessary in all things, for by weeping excessively you will get worse, because the nervous system does not endure great grief and distress. See to it that you be humble and careful, and that you not grieve the Eldress, but do whatever she tells you with faith, and you will miraculously see the hand of God caressing you! Do not stray off the straight path, so that you are not tormented by remorse. Make an effort, my good child, to correct yourself a little, cutting off your own will entirely, and be careful not to do things without a blessing,* but ask the Eldress for whatever you want. And if she does not allow some of the things you want, be patient, for it is then that your genuine love for Christ is demonstrated. For if our elders fulfill our every wish, then where is that virtue which is called cutting off of the will? Yes, my child, compel yourself. I know what you are suffering from and how much you suffer, but it takes patience. For even our Christ was patient, when we were sinning in front of Him and He was waiting for us to repent. I pray that our Panagia** may always console you and refresh your dear little soul. Amen.
*Blessing (ευλογία )
Βesides its usual meanings, a “blessing” can also mean the permission given by one’s spiritual father for a particular action.
**Panagia (Παναγία )
This title of the Virgin Mary means “the all-holy one.”
26. My blessed child, may the God of love be with you. Be patient in everything, for it is in this way that you will reap benefit from everything. Our Christ loves you, and for this reason He continually visits you so much. If He did not love you, He would have abandoned you and you would have been lost, whereas now you are alive and are struggling. It is irrelevant if you suffer temporally; consider and meditate on what is eternal, and this will relieve and refresh you in the burning heat of harsh trials. You are passing through the furnace that refines those souls which have dedicated their lives to God. So take courage and rejoice, for through this your soul will be purified to receive the most pure Lord. Be humble and love everyone for the love of Christ, and in this way you will be saved. I leave you with the peace and love of God.
With fatherly love, Geronda.*
*Geronda (Γέρων )
A geronda (pronounced “yeh-ron-da” ) is a hieromonk, priest, or monk who, ideally, has reached dispassion by the grace of God. Thus, because of his own experience, he is able to lead his spiritual children to dispassion as well. In a broader sense, though, it is used as a respectful title for any spiritual father and any elderly hieromonk, priest, or monk.
27. My blessed child, I pray that the Heavenly Father grants you discernment so that you can discern the truth from the devil’s lie. Concerning the first thought that you wrote about, I reply: Didn’t God declare that Job was blameless? Then why did He permit trials so severe that he reached such a difficult situation that he cursed the day of his birth? Nevertheless, all this was permitted in order to teach him, of course; for this is what the Lord usually does: first He tests and then He shows His love. The love of God is manifested not only when He caresses, but also when He slaps. If the Heavenly Father slaps us, He reveals through this that He loves us. If God did not consider us His children, He would not have sent us trials but would have abandoned us as we are: spiritually uneducated, without any solicitude. In the order world, the ones nearest the Lord will be those who have been educated in soul and wise in spiritual struggles. And because He loves us wretched ones and wants to honor us, He educate us spiritually here, in the University of Monasticism. But since we are inexperienced as to how Divine Providence works, we blame God, asking why He should send us trials, and thus we jeopardize our eternal happiness through our ignorance. Spiritual education consists of deliverance from the passions and especially from egotism. So, my child, let us struggle not to condemn; let us say, “Bless”*, and, “May it be blessed”. Let us have genuine love. And when do we have genuine love? When we do not condemn the others, but justify them.
*Bless (ευλογείτε, ευλόγησον )
Ιn addition to its regular meaning, this word is used by monastics also to mean: (1 ) “Forgive me”; (2 ) “Hello”; or (3 ) “Good-bye”.
28. Do not lose your courage, my child. The deprivations we bear are meant to prepare for us the eternal enjoyment of heaven! We knowingly deprive ourselves of the pleasurable things of this life for the love of our Christ. If we wanted to, we could enjoy them freely, but voluntarily we do not accept them so that we may be given the affectionate love of our exceedingly sweet Jesus. My daughter, we have an immortal and eternal Bridegroom, Who preserves the glory of virginity forever. We have been called to become angels, my beloved daughter, so shouldn’t we deprive ourselves of things pleasurable and sinful? Isn’t worth depriving ourselves of foul things for Jesus’ divine love? So struggle worthily of your calling with fortitude. The martyrs shed their blood for the love of our Christ, so can’t we resist one loathsome, counterfeit pleasure? Glorify God in your body and in your soul.
Struggle to the end.
Farewell, my daughter.
Your father.
29. Here in this vain world, my child, we shall be afflicted, we shall be embittered, we shall feel pain. But all this is for a limited time; it is temporary—let us pray that God does not abandon us to an eternal degree and measure, for then we would not bear it. Whenever you are in pain and are afflicted, call to mind Him Who was Crucified and then you will find much relief. For who could gaze at the Crucified One and reflect on His Passion which He suffered for us, and not find balm for his wounds, whether spiritual or physical? Look up, my child, there on Golgotha, there where the holy Lamb triumphed victoriously in order to wash the wounds of our sins and passions with His Blood. His compassion is great; never lose your confidence in Him Who was crucified for you. I pray that you pass Great Lent with flourishing health of both soul and body. Amen.
30. A physician torments a sick person with operations, bitter medicines, amputation of body parts, etc., with the purpose, of course, of curing him and not of torturing him out of wickedness. Likewise God, as the Physician of our souls and bodies, heals us with all kinds of medicines, afflictions, and sufferings to give us our spiritual health, which is the greatest good that exists. But those who are indignant and do not bear it patiently—like me—lose the spiritual benefit and thus gain only pain. So since God saves us in such a miraculous way, we have the necessary obligation to thank Him unceasingly and to bless His All-holy Name. We should do so not only with our mouth, but primarily with our works, so that no deed of ours may offend God’s grandeur. For if we bless Him with our lips and revile Him with our works, then we are mocking Him. Let us make an effort not to grieve our Christ by any offense, so that the Holy Spirit may rest in our souls. Amen.
On Illness
1 The truth is that the illnesses, afflictions, and tribulations of Christians bring about the cleansing of their soul and the forgiveness of their sins. Every Christian has the sacred obligation to accept with a guileless and simple heart whatever kind of cross God has placed upon him, and to carry it up to glorious Golgotha. Sometimes he may fall to his knees under the toil and burden, but God will send another good Simon of Cyrene (vid. Mt. 27:32 )—that is, the grace of patience—who will lift the cross to Golgotha. When we visit a cemetery, we see a cross on every grave—some wooden, others stone, others iron, etc. Likewise, God gives a cross to every Christian soul. To one He gives an iron cross, to another a wooden cross, to another a stone cross; each person is given one as the wisdom of God deems best. The main purpose of the Lord is to save our precious soul, regardless of whether or not it suffers in the process. He Himself provides us with the patience and enlightenment to be able to bear the cross to the end. The afflictions felt in illnesses are sent by the holy hand of our good God. The most effective medicine for spiritual health is bodily illness. Illnesses are the reveille for the soul that has become drowsy with the narcotic drink of ignorance, of forgetfulness of God. Illnesses force the soul that has become careless, because of its spiritually harmful physical health, to get back to the right way of life. “In affliction I remembered Thee” (Is. 26:16 ). “In my affliction Thou hast made me prosper” (Ps.4:1 ). “We must through many tribulations enter into life” (cf. Acts 14:22 ). “By your patience possess your souls” (Lk. 21:19 ). The slaps of pure love are absolutely never occasioned without a holy and saving purpose foreseen! The Lord tells us in the Holy Gospel that without the will of our heavenly Father, not even a sparrow falls dead, and that the very hairs of our head are numbered (cf.Mt.10:29-30 ). How assuring these words are that all our deeds, words, and thoughts are known to God, and that our afflictions occur with His knowledge, are from His providence, and aim at some salvific goal! What great corruption, both physical and spiritual, did mankind have before the coming of the Lord! Which medicine brought about spiritual rebirth to the souls of men? Was it not the gigantic Cross of our Lord Jesus? If the Lord had not died on the Cross, man could not have been saved in any other way. Jesus became a model for us by bearing His Cross. He showed thus that whoever wants to be saved must follow Him, endure the cross which the Lord will lay upon him according to his strength, ascend to Golgotha, be crucified together with Jesus, and then be glorified together with the Lord in the kingdom of God. When the soul sees that the glory and repose in the bliss of heaven are given in proportion to the cross it carried, it will regret that it did not carry a heavier cross in order to receive greater glory and repose. It will say, “The labor then lasted only a short time, whereas now I am deprived of eternal blessings! Even the Patriarch Abraham, when he sees blessings being distributed, will regret not having struggled more! One young girl was continuously sick with a nasty illness, which finally killed her. One night she appeared to her sister, who asked her, “How are you doing, my sister, in the place where you are”? And she answered, “What can I say, my sister? Christ gave me much glory and repose because of my illness. Oh, if only I could return to the earth to suffer a greater illness, so that I would receive more glory here!” If the Lord Himself—the omnipotent and sinless One—carried a cross for the sake of man, for his salvation, how much more so do we sinners, who sin every hour, need a cross for our salvation? “I made ready and was not troubled” (Ps.118:60 ), says the Prophet David. We must always be ready to endure without grumbling every trial that the holy hand of the Physician will send us. Since this trial comes from and is permitted by Him Who loves us boundlessly, the trial will absolutely never be for our harm, for after it is over we shall see its good result; we shall see God’s main purpose. The Lord Jesus, foreseeing the future trials of His followers, gave them support by saying, “By your patience possess your souls. He who endures to the end will be saved” (Lk. 21:19, Mt. 10:22 ). By enduring your illness with patience, you are also counted among the beloved children of God. Your burden will one day become your resurrection; your sorrows, joy; your patience, eternal life! Cry out with thankfulness to the Lord: “Blessed be the name of the Lord. As it seemed good to the Lord, so has it come to pass. Glory to God for everything” (cf. Job 1:21 ). As you cry out like this, your soul will be filled with joy and peace, and at the same time you will strengthen yourself in patience. What is a Christian? What must he have? Certainly, he must have much patience in everything. The road that takes wayfarers to the city of paradise is completely strewn with thorns; those who travel along it will bleed. But the hope of enjoying paradise overcomes everything and provides the wayfarers with patience—as the forty holy martyrs said when they were thrown into the frozen lake: “Winter is bitter, but paradise is sweet; the frost is painful, but the enjoyment will be sweet”. May the all-good God also count us the lowly along with those who labor and are heavy-laden in order to give us eternal repose. Amen.
2. From the time our sweet Jesus lifted the life-giving wood of the precious Cross on His immaculate shoulders and was hanged upon it, from that time and throughout the ages, lifting the cross is continued by His followers in the form of various afflictions and trials, through which the Christian triumphs over the many forms of destructive self-love. Through Luke the Evangelist, the Savior stresses that “whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” (Lk. 14:27 ). And again: “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” (Lk. 9:23 ). Abba Isaac, the hesychast philosopher, says, “Man changes at every moment.” Indeed, the dispositions of both the soul and body do not stop changing at any moment, sometimes bringing about distress, at other times pain, sometimes expectation of sad news, at other times an undefined disorder and distress of soul and body. All of these are due to either bodily or spiritual causes, which confirm God’s curse that burdened the race of man due to the disobedience of Adam and Eve. But the good Jesus, the Tree of life, on the one hand by His holy example, and on the other by His divine teachings, pours out the balsam of consolation upon the cross of afflictions along with many life-giving assurances that it is through many tribulations that we shall be able to enter His kingdom(cf. Acts 14:22 ). In the Old Testament, in the Book of Numbers, among other things, the following distinctive event is narrated: “When the Israelites had disobeyed God in the wilderness, as a punishment for their disobedience He sent serpents to them which bit and killed them. But God heard the prayer of Moses, who was fervently praying for this wrath to abate, and ordered him to make a bronze serpent and lift it up on the pole. And all who were bitten by the serpents were immediately healed when they looked at the bronze serpent” (cf. Num. 21:6-9 ). And in the Holy Gospel, our Jesus likened the elevation of the bronze serpent to His own life-giving elevation on the Cross by saying: “And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up.” (Jn.3:14 ). So sin—which is the meaning of the poisonous serpent—bites man, poisoning the entire being of his poor soul through culpable and passionate pleasure, which brings about the soul’s death and separation from God. But our Christ, the noetic bronze serpent, who was hanged on the life-giving wood of the precious Cross, through the lofty truths of the gospel, heals the souls that have been bitten by various sins, giving them a living hope of a life beyond comprehension. “O Death, where is thy sting? O Hades, where is thy victory? (1 Cor. 15:55 ). The powers of your horrible tyranny were abolished, annihilated, enfeebled, and completely put to death by the death and resurrection of Jesus, our God, Who saves our souls. The heart is poisoned and darkened by pleasure and sensuality. Then, since it is darkened, it does the work of darkness, grieving the Holy Spirit Whom it had received through rebirth in the sacred baptismal font. Conversely, pain and affliction expel culpable sensuality from the heart. As it is cleansed by pain, it becomes capable of receiving the comforting Spirit. Once the good Comforter comes, He consoles, encourages, and enlightens the heart, and as a nurturer He gives it life with the divine teachings and the aids of joy and hope. So look upon the noetic bronze serpent, Jesus, Who heals through pain all souls that suffer from the bites of poisonous sin in its many forms. From the unshakeable truths derived from experience, it follows that pain and affliction are the most essential medicine for the soul which is ill with sin. At the same time, they are also excellent teachers for the spiritual uplifting of the soul which has sullied its beauty in sin and moral darkness and has thereby acquired morally evil habits. Pain, in the various meanings of the word, becomes the skillful cultivator that takes a sinful soul that is like a wild olive tree and grafts it onto o good olive tree. Sin hardens the heart of the sinner and renders him unfeeling; nothing moves him, because God, Who has feeling and sympathy for people, is missing. However, what does God do—He Who loves mankind, Who “came to seek and to save that which was lost”? (cf. Lk. 19:10 ). He draws up a plan of salvation through pain, and especially through illness, for the soul which has gone astray. You see, for example, a youth in his prime, puffed up because of his strength and behaving arrogantly, forgetting about God and his soul—then suddenly he lies prostrate on a bed of pain. Then, as a most experienced and skillful doctor, pain begins its surgery. First, it operates on the heart by removing its hardness little by little, and thus it softens the soul. He who was formerly hard of heart becomes soft and calm in his feelings. He commiserates with his fellow patients, and he who was formerly unsympathetic speaks with sympathy. And once his heart has been prepared through these and various other feelings brought about by the instructive rod of pain, then the ears of his previously deaf soul open, and he accepts, retains, and attentively listens to the word of truth, the gospel of salvation. Then he who was formerly indifferent to God and to his soul becomes zealous in reading various religious books and periodicals. He begins to recall his sinfulness with genuine contrition and feeling. Thus he learns to pray with compunction and soon becomes an eloquent preacher of the benefactions of the excellent doctor, pain, proclaiming that it alone cures the illness of being far from God. Pain cures not only the person who is far from God; it also heals souls that are healthy, but partially ill with a “sickness not unto death,” (Jn. 11:4 ), such as occasional indifference, criticism, self-love, cowardice, doubts, and so on. Pain exercises its activity even in the saints so that through their patience their glory may be increased. However, the saints often suffer also to give an example to others, as happened with long-suffering Job, St. Syncletiki, and so many other saints. When we have a beautiful piece of furniture and leave it unattended to for a period of time, we see that a layer of fine dust settles upon it. True—it is not ruined, but it has lost some of its shine and beauty. This also happens to a healthy soul when it does not have afflictions now and then. For example, indifference, if one does not attend to it in time, little by little without anyone realizing it, settles in the soul like dust on the furniture, and the soul loses its original zeal towards God. It does pray; it does fulfill its duties, but not as it should. But if pain comes, if affliction visits, then the wind blows and the flame—that is, the zeal to fulfill its duties to God—is kindled again. Just as it happens with indifference, so it happens also with every other illness of the soul. Pain is the divine medicine which the infinite wisdom of God devised for the ailing soul, and He uses it with absolute authority and no reserve so that through such an effective medicine, we may come to our senses and be watchful and vigilant in executing His holy will. Thus at the time of repayment we may receive, as a reward for vigilantly cleaving to His will, entrance into the eternal delight of the Lord, rejoicing and exulting in it together with those who have been called from all ages. There, together with the Lady Theotokos, the angels, and all the saints, we shall praise with endless, joyful hymns the blessed name of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ, to Whom belong all glory, honor, and dominion unto the endless ages of ages.
3. God chastens and then heals; He raises up and casts down—who is able to withstand the will of the Lord? If God wills that we suffer, He has some salvific purpose in mind which we earthly ones are unable to foresee. Whereas patience, forbearance, and the humble acceptance of trials will always—yes, always—bring certain benefit later. My child, bear your cross, and know that all that we suffer is known to God, and as a true Father He tries in every way to form Jesus Christ within us (cf. Gal. 4:19 ). He wants us to suffer because He knows what He has prepared in the heavens for His suffering children. But if He did not send them afflictions, He would do them injustice, because they would be deprived of the ineffable blessings of heaven. The more we suffer, the more beautifully our crown of glory is woven! Never believe that you are possessed; never let any such thought deceive you. Such things happen to many monks when they become ill. This is how God has arranged things: when the body is ill, the soul follows accordingly, and when the soul suffers, the body also wastes away and sulks. The tempter was envious of you, my child, but let us be patient so that he may be foiled and God may be glorified. Who does not feel pain when he undergoes surgery, and who does not feel pain when he loses the grace of God and is swarmed by thousands of warped thoughts? This is how God’s wisdom has arranged things to bring about the soul’s correction. All things will pass, as well as the winter of our passions, and the sweet spring of health will blossom again, and you will rejoice and say, “It is good for me that Thou hast humbled me, that I may learn Thy statutes” (Ps. 118:71 ). As nature’s seasons—winter, spring, summer, and autumn—follow one another, likewise the spiritual seasons follow each other. One goes, another comes—and thus the soul becomes accustomed to all spiritual changes and becomes wise and experienced. This experience is grace, which supports the soul in times of terrible changes, so that from past trials it will know well that only patience and forbearance can provide a peaceful state and beneficial thoughts. In this manner, we emerge from trials with benefit, and we become wiser and more experienced.
4. My child, although much of your illness is due to disobedience, the love of God is evident in you. God loves you very much, which is why He chastens you. God is working out your precious salvation through the trials you are undergoing. He wants to lighten your burden and fill the vessel of your soul with the gift of the great hope of obtaining heaven and dwelling eternally near Christ, Whom you have ardently loved in this life! So what remains for you to do? Maintain utmost patience, exercise courage in the trial you are undergoing, and give boundless thanks to the excellent Guide of our souls, coupled also with grace-filled humility. My child, walk up the path to Golgotha with the cross you have been given by the greatly beneficent hand of Him Who loves and chastens you so that you may partake of His holiness.
5. My child, I pray that the God of patience and consolation (Rom. 15:5 ) will strengthen you in your illness, which you have fallen into by the will of God. When I heard that you were seriously ill, I felt much pain for you and begged our Panagia to make you well, first in soul and then in body. My child, think of the holy martyrs—how much they endured for the love of our Christ! Therefore, you should also say to yourself, “Lowly one, patiently endure the torments of illness so that you may avoid the eternal torments of hell!” Those martyrs voluntarily submitted to the tortures of martyrdom, whereas you are in pain involuntarily. But even this is good; it will benefit you significantly—just bear the chastisement of the Lord with joy and thankfulness. Tell yourself these and other such things to strengthen yourself and to give yourself fortitude and consolation.
6. Entrust your health to God. If your illness or the doctor imposes something on you, accept it with the hope that through it God will accomplish what He wants. Of course, our self-denial should not lead us to death (which would be suicide ), nor should we have so much attentive care that it leads to self-love, but we should walk the middle road—that is, in faith we should do what is prescribed so that it is not considered to be suicide. But as to whether or not we shall get well through the means we use, in faith we leave this up to God. My child, have patience in all your sufferings. Illnesses provide great benefit to the soul when we endure them, as long as we blame ourselves for them, since we suffer from them primarily on account of our sins, and especially on account of our pride of heart.
7. I pray that you will always be healthy. But when you are ill, bear patiently the chastening of the Lord which is sent from His affectionate and immense heart. The chastening proceeding from such a heart will never be fruitless, harmful, or undiscerning. Rather, it chastens us for our own good, for the forgiveness of our sins, for our protection, and for eternal salvation! The heart that chastens us is the heart of God Himself, our heavenly Father. He sees all, especially the purpose of every act. He sees how you are suffering and are afflicted. Know that He will not try you beyond your strength. Through afflictions, He brings about the cleansing of your soul and its eternal salvation. “We glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance” (Rom. 5:3 ). As His children, God disciplines us so that His features may be formed in us. It is when children bear the features of their parents that their legitimacy shows. So this is the purpose of the Lord’s chastening. Your afflictions are salvific; always have hope and you will by no means be put to shame.
8. Ignorance, my child, is known as the soul’s death. Ignorance does not enlighten a sick person; it does not say to him: “Your illness is the will of God, and you ought to pass through it with patience and thankfulness, so that you will not become a transgressor before God with your impatience!” To the enlightened Christian, however, knowledge of God’s will not only makes him bear everything with thankfulness, but also helps him acquire a strong spiritual constitution and at the same time obtain the refreshment of consolation. He reflects: “By undergoing these pains and afflictions I am doing God’s will, and this will bring about the forgiveness of my previous offences. By paying here the debt of my sentence, I shall receive my freedom there in the life to come, where I shall live eternally—whereas here, no matter how much suffering I may undergo, it is temporary and short-lived”. So my child, we need patience so as not to be condemned with the unrepentant world. Regardless of what might happen to us, through patience everything is put aright, and the inner man will find peace, bearing patiently what God has allowed. Bear your cross, and I shall bear mine, as we follow the heavenly Bridegroom, Christ, Who for us ungrateful sinners bore a Cross of disgrace. What do we bear that is equal in worth to such good things that we enjoy from God? If I were to enumerate the blessings of God and the ingratitude of man, I think my mind would stop; for how can the finite mind comprehend the infinite benefactions of God towards man?
9. May the God of patience and consolation (Rom. 15:5 ) grant you patience and His caress of consolation to strengthen you to continue the struggle. My child, do not look only at the present pains, but raise your eyes “as one weaned from his mother” (Ps. 130:3 ) and behold: “The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us,” (Rom. 8:18 ), who long for the manifestation of our Christ. Do not measure only the pains, but philosophically consider the reward, for isn’t God just? God deprived you of the comfort of having healthy feet in order to count you worthy to celebrate the great resurrection of your soul “with a joyful step” (Paschal Canon, Ode Five ) there in the Jerusalem on high. Yes, indeed, all of Scripture proclaims this. My child, walk in Christ bearing in mind the eternal joy to come. Do not grow weary of contending; do not imagine that you are beating the air, for truly there is a fight going on as there was with Job. He patiently bore a martyrdom of a variety of pains, and his wife pushed him towards eternal death through her evil advice; whereas you are being advised through these pains to obtain eternal life. He sat on a dung heap, was covered with sores, and was ridiculed as a sinner, but you rest at home upon a bed and are considered to be a virtuous Christian. Do you see how inferior we are? Therefore, endure patiently and thank God Who gave you such a gift, so that He might make you, as a grateful servant, a heir of His boundless kingdom! Amen; so be it.
10. You say that your brother was hungry, thirsty, and so on when he was sick, and he blasphemed. You also said that your brother was committing a mortal sin. God, though, Who is very compassionate, wanted to bring him to a realization of his guilt so that he would repent, so He gave him this illness out of paternal love as a spiritual medication to cure his soul of its illness. If you had looked after your brother and offered him every bodily comfort, what pains would he have suffered for God to see and have pity on him? You should realize that the more he was tormented, the more his penalty was lightened! God gave him the illness and allowed the brethren to neglect their duty towards him so that his conscience would make him feel remorse and repent. He is like a patient who is given medicine by a doctor, but lacks the necessary patience. Thus, he curses and grumbles at the doctor, which only leads to his own demise.
11. When you are in pain, gather the powers of your soul and try to understand what heaven is trying to tell you in this trial of yours. If perhaps you cry from the pain, the tears will cleanse your vision, as it did to Job the much-suffering, and then you, too, will be able to say along with him, “now mine eye hath seen Thee” (Job 42:5 ).
Don’t forget that God sees you and watches you when you are in pain; He perceives even the beating of your heart. Consequently, He will not leave you without consolation and His fatherly protection. Naturally, the saints rejoiced in their afflictions; as for us, let us at least manage to accept affliction or pain patiently.
My child, pray within your heart, and the name of Jesus will become for you a comforting balm so that you can bear this trial of yours in a way which benefits you. You will greatly benefit from this trial if you submit yourself to it patiently. So again I say to you, with the almighty armor of prayer continually approach the omnipotent Lord more often, and you will come to know how He wondrously lifts the burden of pain and marvelously gives rest to sufferers.
12. Ι pray that you will get fully well. What can we do? The Lord chastens us so that we may have an eternal reward. Since we have no ascesis, the Lord gives us illnesses and afflictions to count it as ascesis for us so that we may have some small consolation when we are judged before Him. What can we do, my child? This is how God wants things: that we suffer here in order to find repose in the world to come. Everything here is transient; there, eternal. Winter is bitter, but paradise is sweet. Let our feet freeze here so that they may dance there eternally! Glory to Thee, O God.
13. My blessed child in Christ, I am praying that the great Physician of souls and bodies grant you your full health, in accordance with His holy will. There were holy men, my child, who were gravely ill, yet in their illness they healed others. Oh, how much God loved them! An exceptional sign of God’s love for a soul is when He saddles it with illnesses or afflictions. Pain of body or soul purifies, cleanses, and brightens the garment of the soul from every stain of sin. There was one holy monastic father who was always ill. It happened once that he was not ill for a period of time, and he complained, saying: “Ah, my God, why didst Thou forget me and not consider me worthy of Thy visitation?” This blessed man yearned for illnesses because he knew from his experience how much the soul benefits from them. Pain brings the unrepentant sinner to repentance, whereas for the righteous, it fortifies the strength of his soul and becomes a mighty wall around him so that he does not stray into sin. Just as a sick person gladly submits himself to the painful treatment of the doctor because he knows his aim, similarly we should endure with gratitude and knowledge all things that befall us involuntarily as sent from the kind hand of God for our salvation. “The athlete is tested by the stadium, the captain by the storm and tempest, the general by the battle, the magnanimous by misfortune, and the Christian by temptation,” says St. Basil the Great. Just as the earth becomes productive when the plow tills it deeply, likewise the soul becomes fruitful in virtues when pain and illness visit it frequently and intensely! The more pain and affliction a person has, the more beautiful his crown becomes. And if there are many and various pains that oppress him, then the crown of glory is adorned with many flowers and pearls. Gold has to pass through the furnace to become purified, and the soul of a Christian has to pass through the furnace of temptations to receive the seal of eternal glory in the royal treasury of Christ the King. If holy and blessed people passed through the furnace of pain and were benefited, how much more pain suits us and how much benefit we will derive from it when we endure it with knowledge and gratitude! It is when we see pain oppressing us, physically or spiritually, that we should consider that we are loved by God and that He has placed us in the ranks of His chosen. O blessed chastening of the Lord, I love you. But I am unworthy of such a gift, for I live in comfort and shall become a victim of the eternal fire. So, my child, I envy you because you are suffering and will obtain eternal repose! Your crown is decorated and beautified for your eternal glory! Endure for the Lord’s sake until the end. Bear your cross well lest you drop it, and you can be sure that you will be glorified with Christ eternally! Pray for me, too, lest I be shut out of paradise as one who does not practice what he preaches.
14. My child, I pray that the good Comforter, the good and true Spirit, the Holy Spirit, will overshadow you, console you, and ignite in you the love of Christ. I pray with all my soul that our Christ will grant you your health. I see and know from my experience, my child, that if one suffers various afflictions, whether bodily or spiritual, and patiently endures them with knowledge, and thanks God, then God is definitely obliged to send consolation to refresh his soul. But if we do not endure pain and labor, God does not console—He does not give His grace. Do you see after you recover from pain how much the love of Christ ignites within you? Yes, it is the reward for your labor, your patience. If you didn’t have this illness, you wouldn’t have so much love and consolation. Do you see that when you recover, you feel like a child? This is a sign that God forgives your sins and that you are free from blame. All this is caused by the patience you have when you are ill. When God deigns for you to get well, then you will see in practice what I am telling you. The more one suffers, the more grace one is given. One monk was ill, and he had such a horrible disease that the brethren were disgusted by him and drove him away. He blamed himself by saying that he deserved such treatment. Because of his humility, God made him well. But afterwards, this holy monk kept saying, “Ah, my Christ, I was unworthy to suffer more for Thy love!” He knew from experience how much he gained during his illness. Therefore, do not grieve at all. Only thank our Christ, Who loves you so much that He has given you temporary afflictions here in order to give you everlasting joy there. When you are ill and unable to fulfill your spiritual duties with exactitude, do not be sad, because it is not a sin since your will does not exercise authority over your health. Nevertheless, a monk must compel himself. But if he is ill, it is not a sin not to fulfill his duties—God is just. Obedience with humility and thanksgiving to God replace the ascesis of fasting. Great is the benefit of self-reproach when one is unable to fast due to illness.
15. I pray, my child, that a drop of the infinite patience of God may drip into your soul, where it will build a tower of patience so that you may find the unfailing treasure of eternal life. You wrote that at times when grace was afire, you asked our Christ to grant you illness or even something worse so that you could suffer out of love for Him. He did not overlook you but sent you an illness, as you had asked. So you have to be patient now, and you will learn discernment from experience, that is, not to seek things from God that we have not tried through experience. Therefore, we should always pray that the Lord’s will be done. Now pray like this: “My God, make me well, but let not my will be done, but Thine.” Like naϊve children, we often seek things that are not to our benefit. But God, as our Father, fulfills our requests in order to teach us through experience how we should pray to Him. Afterwards, though, we see that we did not pray properly, and we suffer. Nevertheless, God is forbearing and delivers us, so that the lesson of giving up our own will becomes deeply rooted within us. Moreover, at times when we suffer from our lack of discernment, God does not abandon us, but sends His grace and comforts us so that we may bear the burden. This is what is happening with you, my child. What you saw and felt was the grace of God, which nurses you until you grow in experience. The fact that God lets you suffer shows that you still need such chastening. Leave it all to God and say: “My God, I leave my illness in Your holy hands, and whenever You—Who love me so much—want to heal me, I will also want it then. I only ask Your infinite goodness that You not overlook me, but always give me the patience to bear this cross of mine, until Your will is done again.”
16. I am sick with the flu and feel sharp pains in my appendix. I don’t know what will happen. In any case, glory to Thee, O God. God loves us and through involuntary pain seeks to count us worthy to participate in His most perfect blessings. Unfortunately, we – and I –do not love our soul in a spiritual way. If we loved it, we would endure trials of both soul and body without complaining, in order to attain the eternal blessings. Pain softens the heart and removes its hardness. As the heart is softened in this manner, the ground is prepared for the sowing of genuine repentance and correction. We who are cowardly in every affliction chase away, so to speak, the grace of God. When man is prospering, he cannot remember God, and if he remembers Him, it is only faintly. When affliction or pain approaches, he remembers Him vividly and with fervor. When sorrow oppresses him or when he expects tribulations, then he prays most ardently. And our holy God is pleased with this, just as a mother is pleased when her child seeks her with heartfelt pain, for in this she discerns love. No matter how man is tried, he always benefits when he shows the corresponding patience and gratitude during the trial. This is revealed at the end of the trial, when he sees the lightness of his soul, the clarity of his mind, and the sweetness that comes to his inner self. Let us pray to be granted knowledge and patience in life’s miseries, so that we may gain our salvation. Amen.
Chapter Three
On Sin, Repentance, Mourning, and Tears
To fall and be injured is human, since—even if a man’s life lasted for only one day—his mind is inclined to evil from his youth (cf. Gen. 8:21 ). But to fall and remain fallen is not human. Repentance recreates man; it was given to us to cure the soul after baptism. If it did not exist, rarely would a person be saved. That is why, the virtue of repentance is unending as long as man is alive, for only the perfect do not err. My children, every time you see your thoughts reproaching you for some sin, immediately take the medicine: repent, weep, go to confession, and behold, you return to your former and better state.
2. After Judas the traitor dedicated himself to the Lord and became a partaker of grace, he performed miracles along with the rest of the Apostles, yet in the end he shipwrecked; whereas the thief who had done impious, evil, immoral deeds, by crying out for mercy, was granted repose in the calm haven of eternal bliss. The Jewish nation, which had received the promises of God and was called by Him special, chosen, and holy (vid. Ex. 19:5, 1 Pet. 2:9 ), was blinded and lost Him forever. The barbaric nations, on the other hand, which were like the harlot in their works, received the gospel and inherited what Israel had rejected: God. Therefore, away with despair and hopelessness! No matter how sinful we may be, we should always turn the eyes of our soul to God and entrust ourselves to Him as servants entrust themselves to the hands of their master. In this manner let our eyes be fixed on the Lord, always trusting in His mercy until He has mercy on us (Ps. 122:2 ).
3. The fall of man into physical mortality and the consequences of exile and alienation from our good Heavenly Father, brought about the law of sin, which wars against the law of God (cf. Rom. 7:23 ). From his youth, man is subject to the law of sin as a tendency, as an inclination, and as wickedness (cf.Gen. 8:21 ). And this tendency towards evil—as an ancestral inheritance and as a mark, product, and remnant of the ancient severance from the fountain of happiness—naturally took on substantial proportions in human nature, thus drawing it to evil. Thereafter, it was only natural for grievous calamities to befall the children of Adam and Eve. The restoration to the sonship of old by means of the Lord Jesus’ death on the cross led to eternal salvation. However, this did not remove the law of sin existing within man: not that God was unable to—for just one drop of the awesome and holy blood of Jesus Christ could transform everything—but providentially He let it coexist in man so that by means of it He could not only instruct him, but also make manifest the intentions of each person. The Scriptures say that God did not permit Joshua the son of Nun to destroy all the surrounding idolatrous nations, but he left some so that through them He could teach the art of war to the sons of Israel
(vid. Josh. 17:13 ). So when this law of sin does not find a brave adversary (that is, one with good intentions and with the divine commandments and precepts as weapons ), then it vanquishes and captures the spiritual struggler; it strips him of his divine weapons and then drags him to the life of sin. From all these and many other things, we reach the truthful conclusion that all the distressing events and things in human nature are a consequence of its fall from its original immortality to mortality. Furthermore, we see that the salvific sacrifice of the God-man Jesus providentially did not remove the law of sin existing within man in order to instruct him, as well as for many other reasons pertaining to our salvation, so that by them He may make him a wise heir of His eternal blessings.
4. “As I find you, I will judge you” (cf. Ez. 33:20 ). Behold, the value of a moment. Did He find you in repentance? Did He meet you in confession? Did He reach you saying “I have sinned against heaven and before you”? (Lk. 15:18 ). Did He approach you when you had tears of genuine repentance and self-reproach in your eyes? Behold, it is in one moment that God makes his decision. “The Lord is faithful in all His words” (Ps. 144:13 ). However, if He finds you otherwise, O man, then the eyes of your soul will open, and you will see what you have lost—but what is the use? If God condemns a person, repentance is futile; when the “fair” of life ends, words are pointless. It is all over! Oh, what a great mystery this is! O my God, my Sweet Jesus, open the eyes of my soul that I may see very clearly this great mystery of my eternal salvation, so that, helped by Thy grace, I may prepare provisions and not repent at the end of my life to no avail. As Thou dost see, I do absolutely nothing and am entirely leprous with passions. Grant me tears and complete repentance before the last hour comes, when I shall hear Thy voice, “Set thy house in order, for thou shalt die and not live” (Is. 38:1 ).
5. Repentance is endless. All the virtues, by the grace of God, may be perfected by man, but no one can perfect repentance, since we need repentance until our last breath, for we err in the twinkling of an eye. Therefore, repentance is interminable. Oh, how good God is! Justly will my fellow sinners be punished, for they have ignored the infinite compassion of the heavenly Father. Although we err as humans, we are sluggish to say, “I have sinned!” But how can we say this, since we (and I, above all ) are forgetful and lazy and proud, too—mighty obstacles on the road to humility! Christ showed this road to us through His Cross, but unfortunately we voluntarily turn a deaf ear to Him, to our great regret. Time flies, the years roll by, and we are drawing nearer and nearer to eternity. We see this, yet a mental numbness has bound us until we (and I, first ) are thrown into hell! My God, Who has delivered the human race from the enemy’s slavery, deliver us also from the future condemnation when You come to judge the world and render to each according to his works (cf. Rev. 22:12 ). Through your prayers, may I find mercy when my wretched soul is judged, for I am afraid to meet the fearsome Judge because my conscience reproaches me.
6. Obedience, cutting off one’s will, self-reproach, and patience in general are what lay the foundations of the soul, while fervor and zeal preserve one’s tears. If you want to be zealous until the end of your life, diligently pursue constant tears. If you have such tears, do not be afraid; the zeal of yearning for your salvation will remain. Water normally quenches fire; the water of God, however, which streams from the eyes of the repentant, lights not a physical fire—as we know—but a divine fire burning up the enemy’s weeds!
7. Let us sincerely repent; let us confess frankly and in detail. Let the tribunal of God and His decision preoccupy us continuously, and let us say, “I wonder, shall I be saved or shall I face the torments of hell?” Now is the time we must shed tears of repentance—in fact, constantly. Ah, how much we should be preoccupied by the question of how white and clean our soul is! We must purify it; otherwise, we shall be unable to present ourselves before Christ as we are now. Meditation on death should not escape us at all during our monastic routine.
8. How precious is the time of this life! Every minute has great worth, for within one minute we can think so many things, either good or evil. One godly thought raises us to heaven, and one diabolical thought lowers us to hell. So then, behold how valuable every minute in this present life is. Unfortunately, though, we do not think about this, and hours, days, and years pass with no profit—but is it merely with no profit? How much damage we have all suffered—and I, first—without realizing it! But some day, when our soul is about to depart from our body, we shall realize it. But, alas, it will be too late; there is no room for correction then. We must realize this now when we can still make a start. We should take advantage of the precious time of our life. Truly blessed is he who compels himself and makes a start, because some day he will become spiritually rich. It is never too late, for the Lord awaits each one of us to awaken so that He may give us work. He waits until the eleventh hour (cf. Mt. 20:6 ). He tries with every means to awaken us. I pray that all of us will awaken, light our lamps, and with a vigilant eye wait patiently for the Lord to come, so that we may enter the resplendent bridal chamber of eternal bliss, the festival of the bright angels, to chant with them the resurrectional canticles, which will elevate us from theoria to theoria and to divine ascents! Then—oh, then!—we shall fully realize what a great work it is to compel ourselves in everything and that our superiors did well to push us and grieve us, for we shall say, “Behold what we see now!” Then our thanks to God will have no limits. Then we shall really render thanks worthily to God!
9. Let us not lose our time in vain. The kingdom of heaven belongs to those who force themselves (cf.Mt. 11:12 ). Bear in mind the departure of our souls, the final hour and moment of that difficult separation. Keep in mind how the demons seek to snatch the poor soul at this final hour and lead it to Hades. Oh, what grief! What pain of soul! How the soul sighs then! Alas, what a sorrowful situation it is in at that moment! How many promises a person will make to God that he will change his life, that he will walk the path of repentance and hardship, as long as he does not die! All of us shall reach this hour and encounter the above and much more, and we shall then promise much more earnestly that we shall take the path of repentance and spiritual warfare. Let us imagine that this has already happened and that God has heard our request. Now what is left for us to do? To fulfill our promises by showing true repentance and the struggle to correct our soul. Behold the appropriate time for repentance and spiritual warfare! Little by little the time of our life is cut short, and without even realizing it, we are led to the end and to the grave! A tribunal and a Judge await us, as well as entire books in which the deeds of each one of us are written. Who is able to escape these things? No one. We shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ “naked and open” (Heb. 4:13 ) for each of us to give an account of his deeds, words, and thoughts. Let us bear in mind these and many more such things night and day, so that we may bring our souls to mourning and rears!
10. Sin, as a hook camouflaged with the suitable pleasure, comes craftily as something sweet and charming to the tongue in order to attack the soul. However, he who has been lured by the momentary pleasure and its comfort will find it more bitter than poison and more destructive than a pestilent disease in his soul.
11. No matter what happened with your parents, confession forgives and erases everything, my dear brother in the Lord. Recall how much the prodigal son sinned (vid. Lk. 16:19-31 ), and how much he grieved his father with his reckless life. But when he repented, at once his father’s arms opened and the past was wiped out as if it had never happened. So the cure for your sad parents has already occurred, for the change of your life to a spiritual life has rectified everything. Now that they are in the true life, they are informed by God about the change of your lifestyle and your repentance, for them. If, when we sin against our true Father, God, He forgives us no matter what we have done, how much more so will our parents be pleased, there in the true life, where they see things clearly. They know human weakness and how easily youth slips, and they are aware of the great master of evil, the devil, who was the cause for all the troubles. Instead, they will be thankful to you that through you they receive aid from God. Remain fully at peace, my brother. Walk the path of repentance with a peaceful mind, and do not let the past trouble you. “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead” (Phil. 3:14 ), we should look to the goal of our salvation. As soon as man says, “I have sinned!” God forgives him immediately and overlooks his sins. How much did blessed Augustine grieve that holy mother of his! Nevertheless, what sanctity and eros of God he attained later! With repentance everything is corrected. There is nothing that overcomes the compassion of God. “He is merciful to the last and provides for the first; to this one He gives, and to that one He shows kindness” (Paschal Homily of St. John Chrysostom ). The love of God covers and corrects everything. No one is sinless except for one-God.
12. [The Elder writes to one of his spiritual daughters in the world (“In the world” means not in a monastery. ]:
All that you suffered, my daughter, was because of your self-reliance. Didn’t I advise you to have humility and self-reproach? What did you trust in? don’t you know that if one boldly leans on a bamboo rod, it will break and pierce his hands? So what did you trust in? Don’t you know the saying: “Without Me you can do nothing”? (Jn. 15:5 ). Don’t you know that many Fathers fell by trusting in themselves? Humble yourself, blame yourself, weep, my daughter, wash your wedding garment. Your Bridegroom, Who is more beautiful than the sons of men, is calling you, is seeking you, and has prepared an abode for you in the heavens. The spiritual bridal chamber is extremely luxurious! Angels are serving; do not be sluggish. Arise; get some water and wash your wedding gown well, for you do not know when He will come. The time of death is unknown; it comes to us all. We do not know at what moment it will come. Repent. See how the harlot washed the immaculate feet of the Master. She shed tears more precious than myrrh, and they attracted God’s mercy and forgiveness. Then she heard, “Your sins are forgiven; go in peace” (Lk. 7:48,50 ). Repent, my daughter. Fall before the fearsome feet of the Master with mourning. Weep; cry out, “I have sinned, my Jesus. Accept me in repentance and save me. Overlook not my tears, O joy of the angels. Abhor me not, cast me not away. Thou Who hast bent the heavens by Thine ineffable abasement”. With these and many other such words importune Christ, resting assured that you will find His love three times as strong. Your repentance will give limitless joy to the angels, and exuberantly they will exclaim, “She stopped! She stopped! She stopped!” That is, she stopped short of falling. You were caught out of the flow, and now you are ascending again.
13. Pray for me, my brother, so that the Lord may grant me repentance before I depart on the great journey from this world—for we were not created for this earth, but for heaven. There, God has prepared a place for His children who are obedient to Him in everything He tells them. On the contrary, for all who are deaf to His divine commandments, He has prepared a place of eternal imprisonment—may God keep us from going there. Now God cries out through the Holy Scriptures, the preachers, the spiritual father: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Mt.3:2 ). Unfortunately, though, those who think they are smart and strong turn a deaf ear to Him with various excuses. But the all-good God, wanting to distribute His riches to man, calls “all the feeble, the weak, the things that are not” (cf.1 Cor. 1:27,28 ). “Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in here the poor and the maimed and the lame and the blind, that my house may be filled” (Lk 14:21,23 ), says God through the Holy Gospel. By calling the useless, His compassion is glorified more, and man is led to gratitude, for what leper counted worthy of purification would not render thanks to his benefactor? What person condemned to an eternal imprisonment would not be grateful to his Savior? Unfortunately, my brother, I do not thank God, because forgetfulness—the offspring of pride—has made me lose my head.
14. Beloved brother, may God, Who has visited our humbleness, grant us genuine repentance, through which God’s tribunal is propitiated. Sincere repentance is repentance that displays regret for sins committed, mourning, burning tears that break down the strongholds of sin, and sincere and frank confession. Repentance leaves nothing unhealed. If man had not been given repentance, no one would be saved. Triumph and victory are given to man through the weapon of repentance. Glory to the only wise God, Who gave man such an effective medicine that cures every kind of illness, as long as it is taken properly. Let us struggle, my brother; let us live in simplicity and innocence of heart like small children, as the Savior said: “Unless you become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven” (Mt.18:3 ). With simplicity and faith we are freed from evil day-dreaming, which destroys the good seeds of the Holy Spirit. Things will happen according to our faith. What you sow is what you reap. Let us ask God for compunction and mourning, and He will grant them to us so that a stream of life-giving tears may follow. Then our heart will produce the fruits of the Holy Spirit.
On Confession and Spiritual Accounting
1. This confession of yours gave my soul much joy, because God and the angels, who were awaiting it, rejoiced. You succeeded in putting the devil to shame, who greatly rejoices when someone hides his thoughts from his spiritual father. When a snake leaves its lair, it rushes to hide somewhere because it feels as if it will be struck—the same thing happens with a diabolical thought, which is like a poisonous snake. When such a thought leaves a person’s mouth, it disperses and disappears, because confession is humility, and since Satan cannot even bear the smell of humility, how could he possibly remain after a humble, sincere confession? My child, I wish you a good beginning and cautious progress. Don’t be ashamed before me. Don’t see me as a man, but as a representative of God. Tell me everything, even if you have a bad thought about me, because I am experienced with demonic influences, and I know how the devil fights man. I know that spiritual children have simple hearts and that if evil thoughts come to them, it is due to the devil’s malice and the spiritual child’s ego, who is permitted to fall and have such thoughts against his Elder, so that the spiritual child may be humbled more. Therefore, don’t worry. I will always rejoice when you speak freely and sincerely to me, for without frank confession, there will be no spiritual progress.
2. My child, have no worries. I have taken up your burden. I only beg you to be at peace. Your words may be just on paper, but I feel the power, the meaning, and the essence of what you write; I enter into the spirit of your words. I entreat you to be at peace from now on. You are forgiven everything with the confession you made. Satan perceived your character and torments you, but without anything serious having occurred. Everything you write (that is, the thoughts that torture you ) is a trick of the evil one to make you despair, be distressed, and so forth. Throw everything that happened to you into the depths of the sea. Map out a new course in your life. If you keep thinking the same way, know that you will become the laughing-stock of the demons. I beg you, just be obedient to me. After your confession, everything has been forgiven, so let bygones be bygones. Don’t scratch a wound that made you suffer so much. Don’t be deceived by the thought that it is your fault. If you hadn’t taken him to the doctors, etc., then such thoughts would rightfully fight you. Whereas, as things are now, you have fulfilled your duty. God wanted to take him, for a reason that only His infinite wisdom knows, while you are thinking you killed him! Be careful with this thought, or else it might lurk in your heart. It is a ruse of the devil to harm you, as he knows how. This skilled trickster has drowned in the depths of hell countless multitudes with despair. When something happens and the devil sees that a person is upset by it, his trick is to pile on a multitude of supposedly legitimate thoughts in order to lead the poor person to a great storm and drown him. (As the saying goes, a fox loves a scuffle ). And when the storm passes, he sees that he was in danger of drowning in just a spoonful of water.
3. Humble yourself, and from now on confess, for confession contains most holy humility, without which no one is saved. The devil greatly rejoices when he manages to persuade a person to hide diabolical thoughts. This is because he will achieve his premeditated, soul-destroying goal.
4. I have written to you about the conscience, that we must be careful not to do something that will make it reproach and condemn us. Bear in mind that God sees everything and that nothing is hidden from His eyes. So how could I tell lies before God? Don’t you know that lies are from the devil, and that by not being careful, it becomes a practice, then a habit, and then a passion, and don’t you know that liars will not inherit the Kingdom of God? (cf. Rev. 21:8 ). Fear God. God is not pleased with material offerings when we neglect attending to our inner heart. But it is necessary to do these also without leaving the others undone. (cf. Mt 23:23 ). Attend to your conscience, for we do not know the hour of our death. And if we do not repay our creditor (our conscience, that is ) everything we owe him, he will accuse us vehemently, without holding back. Then—alas!—our mouth will be silenced, not having any answer to give.
5. Every night, review how you passed the day, and in the morning review how the night passed, so that you know how your soul’s accounts are doing. If you see a loss, try to regain it through caution and forcefulness. If you see a profit, glorify God, your invisible helper. Do not let your conscience prick you for long, but quickly give it whatever it wants, lest it take you to the judge and the prison (cf. Mt. 5:25 ). Does your conscience want you to attend to your prayer rule* and regain prayer? Give it these things, and behold, you are delivered from going to the judge. Do not weaken the saving voice of your conscience by disregarding it, because later you will regret it to no avail.
*Prayer rule (κανών )Α prayer rule consists of the prayers and metanoias** which one does daily, under the guidance of one’s spiritual father.
** Metanoia (μετάνοια )
Ιn its primary sense, «μετάνοια» (pronounced «meh-tah΄-nee-ah» ) means repentance, literally, “a change of mind”. However, it can also mean the specific act of making the sign of the cross, followed by a bow either down to the ground or to the waist. It is a gesture of reverence, worship, respect, or repentance. A typical prayer rule includes a number of metanoias done while saying the Jesus prayer. Some translators use the word “prostration” for this term.
6. See to it that you are sincere in your deeds as well as in your words, and especially in confession. For God searches out the hearts and reins (Ps. 7:9 ), and nothing remains obscure in the sight of His sleepless eye. Fear God; God is not mocked (Gal. 6:7 ); He is not fooled. He chastises severely when He does not see sincerity; so be careful. When you are disobedient and commit a secret sin, counteract it by openly revealing it in confession. Do not let your ego overcome you and make you hide the truth and remain uncorrected and passionate. Correct everything now if you want to see good days of dispassion* and peace.
*Dispassion (απάθεια )
Dispassion is achieved when all three aspects of the soul (i.e., the intelligent, appetitive, and incensive aspects ) are directed towards God. It is the transfiguration of the passionate aspect of the soul (i.e., the aspect of the soul which is more vulnerable to passion, namely, the appetitive and incensive aspects ), rather than its mortification. Thus dispassion in this context does not signify a stoic indifference, but rather, a transfiguration and sanctification of the powers of the soul and eventually of the body also.
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